(it's 3 weeks into the rehersals for the show. lark, michelle, amy, suzie, jackie and shell are all sitting around the table in the ramble room. lark has a bunch of papers in front of her)
Michelle: "All right, let's go over the cast list one more time so we can make up the program."
Lark: *reading off the paper* "Baker, Reno. Baker's wife, Michelle. Little Red Riding Hood, Shell. Cinderella, me. Cinderella's prince, Sephiroth. Rupunzel's prince, Vincent. Rupunzel, Amy. Wolf, Rude. Jack's dad, Laguna. Jack, Squall. Step-brothers, Reeve and Tseng. Step mother, Elena. Old man, Rufus. Granny, Suzie. Cinderella's father, Barret. Steward, Cid. Cow, Zell. Cinderella's real mother, Rinoa. Witch, Jackie."
Jackie: "And if one more person tells me that's type casting, I'll kill them."
Michelle: "It's a pretty good cast I think."
Amy: "Except for Reno! He sucks!"
Michelle: "Shut up!"
Jackie: "His acting is fine..."
Shell: "But he can't sing for his life!"
Michelle: "Well... He *thinks* he can..."
Suzie: "And I don't like Squall likes his part."
Lark: "He just doesn't like being near Laguna so much."
Michelle: "Let's get the rest of this settled. Jackie, you're doing costumes, right?"
Jackie: "Damn straight!"
Shell: "That means we'll all look like sluts."
Jackie: "Hey!" *pause* "We'll be *classy* sluts."
Lark: "Amy, you're in charge of scenery?"
Amy: "Yup! All we need is a lot of wood!"
Lark: "Shell, props?"
Shell: *shrugs* "Sure."
Lark: "And Suzie, you're supervising the tech crews."
Suzie: "Cool!"
Michelle: "Um... Lark, who *is* on the tech crews?"
Lark: "I figured this out. Kiros, Ward, a drunk Cloud, TJ and Selphie on stage crew. Irvine and Seifer are sound, and Quistis, Tifa, and Yuffie are lighting."
Michelle: "This show's gonna rock."
Amy: "Isn't it time for rehersal?"
Lark: *checks
time* "Yeah. I'll get the guys, and you guys go get ready."
Sephiroth: "Wait, wait, wait! This is the part where I kill Aeris! Let me play, let me play, let me play!"
Cloud: "Now, Sephiroth, you had your chance."
Sephiroth: "But come *on*! This is my favorite part!"
Vincent: "Angel, let someone else have a chance."
Sephiroth: *pouts* "Fine."
Cloud: *eyes widen* "Oh no. Aeris! I don't like this part! What am I doing!?!"
(the squence of sephiroth killing aeris comes on)
Sephiroth: "Look at me! How cool am I?! Who else can be that cool! Look at me! Aren't I hot!" *turns to vincent* "Aren't I hot, Vincent?"
Vincent: "Yes, angel."
Cloud: *reading off the screen* ".......Aeris..."
Sephiroth: *also
reading off the screen* "Do not worry. Soon the girl will become part of
the Planet's
energy. All that
is left is to go North. The 'Promised Land' waits for me over the snowy
fields. There I will become a new being by uniting with the planet. As
will this girl..."
Cloud: *turns to sephiroth* *no longer reading off the screen but is saying the same thing anyway* "......Shut up." *gets up glaring at seph* "The cycle of nature and your stupid plan don't mean a thing. Aeris is gone. Aeris will no longer talk, no longer laugh, cry...... or get angry...... What about us...... what are WE supposed to do? What about my pain? My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!"
Sephiroth: *eyes widen slightly* *glares back* *says what's on the screen without looking at it* "What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings too?"
Cloud: *angry* "Of course! Who do you think I am!?"
Sephiroth: *laughs* "Ha, ha, ha...... Stop acting as if you were sad. There's no need to act as though you're angry either. Because, Cloud. You--"
Cloud: *cuts him off* "Argh!" *goes to choke seph*
Sephiroth: "What the--" *tries to pull cloud off him*
Barret: "Yo! You choke him, Cloud! Choke him good!"
Rufus: "Kill him! Kill him, Cloud!"
Sephiroth: *struggling to pry cloud off his neck* "It's not funny!"
(lark comes in)
Lark: "What the... Cloud!"
Cloud: *lets go* *points at seph* "He killed Aeris!"
Lark: *shrugs* "So?"
Sephiroth: "And I'd do it again!"
Lark: "All right, let's calm down. We have a rehersal."
Cloud: *still
glaring at seph* "Let me just save the game..."
Jackie: "These past three weeks have sure been eventful ones!"
Shell: "I would never want to do some of that stuff again!"
Lark: *grins* "Oh, I don't know. I thought it was fun."
Michelle: "All right, all right. It's time to start the rehersal."
Amy: "I think someone should teach Reno not to suck."
Michelle: "Stop bashing my baby!"
Suzie: "Maybe we should get him some extra help with his singing."
(all the girls think a minute and then look at lark)
Lark: *sweat drops* "No."
Jackie: "Come on, Lark. Just work with him and bit while we rehearse."
Lark: "I don't think I can help him."
Jackie: "Too bad." *calls* "Reno!"
Reno: *saunters over* *grins* "Ooh. Is today my lucky day?"
Michelle: "Not really. Lark's gotta help you with something."
Reno: *winks* "Oh really? With what?"
Michelle: "Get your mind outta the gutter." *pats lark on the shoulder* "Good luck."
(all the girls walk towards the stage and leave lark with reno)
Reno: "So what's up?"
Lark: "Um...well...the girls and I have been talking, and we think you should work on your" *cough* "singing" *cough* "a bit more."
Reno: "?!? What's wrong with my singing."
Lark: *not looking at him* "Um... Well... You might want to try singing on pitch..."
Reno: "I sing on pitch!"
Lark: "...................um........"
Reno: *jaw drops* "I really do suck!"
Lark: *pats him on the shoulder* "No, no! You just...need to work on your breathing! Yeah...."
Reno: *brightens* "Oh! Okay! I can do that!"
Lark: *wipes brow* "Phew."
(meanwhile....back at the stage)
Sephiroth: "Can we practice the part where I kiss Lark?"
Vincent: "Angel, you practiced that part 25 times yesterday."
Sephiroth: "And yet I still don't think I have it right."
Vincent: *sigh*
Michelle: "Actually, Sephiroth, we really have to practice the part where we make out."
Sephiroth: *frowns as he crosses his arms* "I don't like that part."
Michelle: "Too bad!"
Sephiroth: "Can't you switch parts with Lark?"
Michelle: "No!"
Sephiroth: *sigh*
Michelle: *giggles* "Oh! I know! Why don't we have the two princes hook up instead!"
Sephiroth: *head snaps up* "Nani?"
Michelle: *giggles more*
Amy: "Um... Michelle?"
Michelle: "What?"
Amy: "You do know the princes are *brothers*, right?"
Michelle: "Oh. Right. Scratch that."
Sephiroth: *sigh of relief*
(lark returns)
Sephiroth: "Lark! You're back! Let's practice our kiss!"
Amy: "How's Reno now?"
Lark: *sweat drops* "Um... He's praticing his breathing."
(there is a loud screeching noise in the background and everyone cringes)
Suzie: "Maybe he should *stop* breathing."
Michelle: "Hey!"
Suzie: "He sounds like three dying cats in a blender with an elephant and a squeaky toy!"
Barret: "Yo, girl! That's some whack analogy!"
Laguna: *arm around suzie* "That's my girlfriend!"
Lark: "All right everyone. There are not too many weeks we have left to practice, so where are the trouble spots?"
Sephiroth: "I still think our kiss needs a lot of work."
Lark: "Sephiroth, it's just a simple little kiss."
Michelle: "We need to work on our make out scene."
Sephiroth: *twitch*
Lark: *frowns* "Yeah, I guess."
Sephiroth: "Don't make my practice it! I swear I'll do it on opening night! Just not before then!"
Lark: "Fine."
Michelle: "Hey! You're a jerk, Sephiroth!"
Cloud: "He killed Aeris! Get him!"
Lark: *sweat drops* "Um, guys! Let's not gang up on Sephiroth now! We have a show to do!"
Squall: "Is it too late to drop out?"
Lark: "Yes."
Laguna: *gets squall in a headlock* "What are you talking about! This show's just like real life!"
Squall: "No it's not. You won't die!"
Laguna: *laughs* "You don't mean that."
Squall: "Grrrrrrrr......"
Shell: *stomps foot* "Come on, guys! Stop fighting! You don't see Rude fighting!"
Rude: "........................."
Rufus: "Well, he never does anything!"
Seifer: *whining to jackie* "Jackie, I don't *wanna* be on sound with Irvine! I wanna do stage crew."
Jackie: "Too bad. Shut up. You're getting ass lancing again."
Seifer: *stomps foot* "Come on! Be nice!"
Jackie: "No! Shut up!"
Seifer: "You really are a witch!"
Jackie: *rolls eyes* "Like I haven't heard *that* joke a million times."
(reno enters, smiling)
Reno: "Wow! I think I sound even better than I used to!"
Suzie: "Can I tell him?"
Michelle and Lark:
"No!"
Jackie: "The costumes are almost done." *grins* "And they're pretty darn nice if I do say so myself."
Shell: "I offer to paint everyone's nails for the show!"
Jackie: *gives her a look* "Aren't you in charge of the props?"
Shell: "Well, there aren't that many props!"
Amy: "Reno still sucks."
Suzie: "And I'm a little worried about the crews. Seifer seems a little aggrivated, and Cloud was walking around muttering how 'conveient' it was for him to be on stage crew."
Lark: "On the plus side, the program's done!" *holds it up*
Michelle: *plucks it out of her hand reads it* "Hey! Lark! What the heck do you think you're doing?!"
Lark: "Huh?"
Michelle: "You put your name first for everything! This was *my* idea!"
Lark: "Yeah, but.... It's my ramble room."
Michelle: "Your name is even first in the cast bios! I thought we were doing it in alaphbetical order!"
Lark: "It is in alphabetical order. After me."
Michelle: *glares* "There is no way I'm letting you use this."
Lark: *grabs it back frowning* "Fine, fine. I'll be fair."
Michelle: *grabs it* "Better let me do it."
Lark: *shrugs* "Fine. Less work for me."
Suzie: "Hey, this is totally random, but where are the guys?"
Lark: "Probably
playing FF7 again." *sigh* "I'll go bother them. You guys keep working."
Zell: "Why won't anyone take this damn black materia!"
Barret: "Yo! That's @#@$^ up sh*t, yo!"
Cid: "@$%@&^*$*%@!"
Sephiroth: "I'll take it!"
Rufus: *pointing excitedly at the screen* "Look! It's me!!"
Reeve: *looking bored with his head in his hands* "Thrilling, sir."
Tseng: *rolls eyes* "Too bad I missed this."
Rufus: "Stop being sarcastic!"
Zell: "This game sucks! Why can't I draw spells?!"
Vincent: "We have materia."
Zell: "That's whack! I need some tornado!"
Vincent: *sigh*
Sephiroth: "I told you not to let the FF8 jerks play! They're too dumb to understand!"
Zell: *flips out* "Am not!"
(lark enters)
Lark: "*Again* with FF7?" *pause* "You're letting Zell play?"
Sephiroth: "Wasn't my choice!"
Zell: "Hey! I'm kickin' ass!"
Reno: "You died five times!"
Zell: "Shut up!"
Lark: "I need a few favors."
Sephiroth, Irvine, Rufus and Zell: *eagerly* "What kind of favors?"
Lark: *sweat drops* "Favors that involve calling people and asking them to come to our show."
Sephiroth, Irvine, Rufus and Zell: *look diappointed* "Oh."
Sephiroth: "I'll help, I guess."
Rufus: "I'll send Reeve and Tseng to help in my place."
Reeve: *sigh* "Figures."
Irvine: *shrugs* "Anything's better than watching Zell play FF7."
Zell: "Hey!"
Lark: "Any other volunteers?"
Vincent: "I'll--"
Zell: "No, Vincent! I need your help with the game!"
Vincent: "Oh. Sorry, Lark."
Lark: "That's okay, hon. I have enough slave labor."
Sephiroth, Irvine, Reeve and Tseng: "!?!?!?!?"
Lark: *sweat drops*
"Kidding."
Sephiroth: "Lark, how are we supposed to use the phone when it's out of order?" *points to the sign on the phone that's still there*
Lark: *rips it off* "I was lying. I just didn't want anyone to use it."
Reeve: "What if we had an emergency?"
Lark: "That's why you should carry cell phones."
Reeve: "Oh."
Lark: "Okay. Sephy, you call Twilight. Irvine, you call Gundam Wing. Reeve, you call FF6 and Tseng, you call Pokemon."
Tseng: "Pokemon?"
Lark: "I want Brock to come!"
Tseng: "Are the Pokemon allowed too?"
Lark: "Hey, they're well trained. It's not like they're bringing drooling puppy dogs."
Irvine: "We already have one of those." *points to sephiroth*
Sephiroth: "Hey!"
Lark: "Any questions?"
Irvine: *grins* "Yeah, is it hot in here, or is that just you?"
Lark: *sighs and leaves*
Sephiroth: *shoves irvine* "Stop hitting on her!"
Tseng: "Maybe if you just told her you liked her--"
Sephiroth: "You're one to talk!"
Tseng: *blushes* "Quiet, Sephiroth..."
Reeve: *covering mouthpiece* "Shush you guys! I'm on the phone!"
Sephiroth: *harsh whisper* "You're just jealous cause *I* get to kiss her in the show."
Irvine: *whispering harshly back* "It's one 2 second kiss! It's nothing! Why would I be jealous?"
Sephiroth: *grins* "A 2 second one, huh? We'll see about that..."
Reeve: *hangs up* "FF6 is coming." *mutters* "They're a lot nicer than anyone from the later games."
Irvine and Sephiroth: "Hey!"
Tseng: "You seem tense, Reeve. Want me to give you a massage?"
Reeve: "Sure."
Irvine and Sephiroth:
*exchange a look*
Michelle: "I can't believe the show is tomorrow!!"
Lark: "And we're going to have a pretty good audience."
Michelle: "They better damn well like it cause there are no refunds!!"
Lark: "Damn straight!" *they high five*
Michelle: "Maybe we could do another show again sometime."
Lark: "I don't know... It's a lot of work."
Michelle: "You're just lazy."
Lark: "Hey!" *pause* "I'm gonna go see what the guys are doing. I bet they're playing FF7 again."
Michelle: "Didn't they finish playing it *yet*?"
Lark: "Nope. They're
slow."
Rufus: *crying* "I'm dead!!!!!"
Reno: "Shut up, Rufus! You died awhile ago! You didn't see Tseng crying when he died. And me n' Rude didn't cry when we got our asses whooped."
Rufus: *still crying* "BUT I'M DEAD!!"
Barret: "Yo! Can it, ya whiny brat!"
Cid: "@#$^$&*#!"
Sephiroth: "Die, Hojo! Die, die, die, die, die, die, die!"
Reeve: *sigh* "I can't believe I was arrested. I was just trying to be nice."
Rufus: "Well I'm *dead*!!"
Vincent: *satisfied smile* "The day of reckoning has arrived for you, Hojo!"
Sephiroth: "Kill him good!!"
Reno: "Here's something to think about. Did Scarlet and Heidegger die or not?"
Rufus: "They're dead! Dead like me!"
Reeve: "I don't believe they are. If you go to Kalm and talk to everyone, someone mentions how Scarlet and Heidegger are incompetent and can't run Shinra themselves."
Rufus: "Shut up, Reeve! They died! They're dead! Dead as a doornail!"
Reno: "Rufus, stop complaining about your death! Maybe if you had *run* when you saw WEAPON *coming* you wouldn't have died!"
Rufus: "...shut up, Reno! I'm cool! The last thing I thought was that it's stupid blast would hit only my office! How dumb is that!"
Sephiroth: *dancing around* "Hojo's gonna di-ie! Hojo's gonna di-ie!"
Vincent: "You will never be the winner, Hojo. Face the wrath of Bahamut-Zero!"
Reeve: "Face it. You knew Shinra was doomed from the beginning of the game."
Rufus: "Speak for yourself!"
Reeve: *sigh*
Sephiroth: *points to screen excitedly* "He's dead!"
Vincent: "The devil has gone back to hell."
Sephiroth and Vincent: "Oh yeah!" *they high five*
Barret: "Yo, man! I don't get it! If you're so happy to see the bastard die, why do you say rest in peace once he's dead?"
Vincent: ".............................................................................I can't help being nice."
Sephiroth: *shakes head* "You'll have to learn to be more like me, Vincent."
Everyone (except vincent and sephiroth): *shake head no vigorously*
Vincent: *sweat drops* "That's okay, angel."
Red: "It is now time for the chocobo breeding."
Vincent: *drops controller* "I don't wish to play any longer. Does anyone else?"
(dead silence)
Sephiroth: "Oh well! That was a fun game! No need to stop me!" *shuts game off*
(lark enters)
Lark: "Hey guys." *notices blank screen* "No more FF7?"
Reno: "Vincent just beat Hojo and no one wants to breed the chocobos."
Lark: *shudders* "I don't blame you."
(the ff8 guys are asleep)
Lark: *pokes zell* "Wake up, Zelly! The game's over!"
Zell: *jerks awake with a snort* "I'll kill it!" *jumps to his feet ready to fight*
Lark: "Relax, Zell."
Rufus: *whining* "La-ark! I di-ied!"
Lark: "Aw! Poor Rufus!" *hugs him*
Rufus: *smiles*
Reno: "Don't encourage him to be annoying."
Lark: "So who's excited about the show tomorrow!?"
Reno: "I am!!"
Squall: "I'm not."
Zell: "I make a kick ass cow!"
Seifer: "That's cause you look like one, chicken wuss."
Zell: *flips out* "How can I look like a cow and be a chicken wuss, jerk?!"
Seifer: *shrugs* "Either way you belong in a barn."
Zell: "I'll kill you, Seifer!" *goes to attack seifer*
Lark: *steps between them* "Boys, please! No killing before the show! We don't have understudies!"
Cloud: *mutters* "Oh I can wait to the show to get my revenge on Sephiroth."
Seifer: "Speaking of killing, I'm still mad at Jackie! She's so mean to me!"
Lark: *shrugs* "What do you want me to do about it? I'm a webmistress, not a guidence counsler."
Rufus: "I need more hugs!"
Lark: "Aw!" *hugs him again*
Sephiroth: *glares*
"Don't make me barf."
Lark: "This is so exciting!"
Irvine: *comes over to her* "The theatre is sold out, Lark!"
Lark: "Wow! This is gonna rock!"
Michelle: "Curtain goes up in five minutes!"
Shell: "How do my nails look?"
Laguna: "Excited, son?"
Squall: "Kill me."
Reno: "I can't believe the *guys* have to wear lipstick! That's so gay!"
Tseng: "Stop talking about me!"
Reeve: "...He was talking about the lipstick."
Tseng: *blushes* "Oh. Right. I knew that."
Selphie: "Tee hee! Places everyone! We're gonna start now!"
Lark: "Break a
leg everyone!"
Shell: "Rude, that was out of line!"
Rude: "What? I was doing it just how we practiced."
Shell: "Don't touch me so much!"
Rude: "Why not?"
Shell: "Cause it makes it look like we're going out!"
Rude: "........we are."
Shell: "I don't want the guys in the audience to know! I want them to think I'm single!"
Rude: "Um...okay..."
(then later...after jack (squall) has to say good-bye to his dear friend the cow (zell) after they exit)
Zell: "I thought it was pretty gay how you have to keep petting me, Squall."
Squall: *shrugs* "Whatever."
Zell: "You don't really like me like that, do you, Squall?"
Squall: "NO!"
Zell: "Geeze! Don't get all mad! I'm a pretty attractive guy. I would understand."
Squall: *hits himself in the forehead* "I hate this show."
(a little later. sephiroth and vincent are onstage for their number when a light falls to the stage just missing sephiroth)
Sephiroth: "?!?!?!?"
Cloud's voice: "Revenge for Aeris!"
Sephiroth: "Now's not the time for your puny revenge, Cloud!"
Audience: *sweat drops*
(later on....at the end of the first act where cinderella (lark) and her prince (sephiroth) have to kiss...)
(sephiroth grabs lark and starts making out with her)
Reeve: *whispers to tseng* "I thought they were just supposed to kiss."
Tseng: "I want to know why we had to hit on an obviously straight prince."
(intermission...)
Michelle: "I thought the first act was good.... Except for Cloud's stunt."
Lark: "I could kill him!"
Michelle: "Don't worry. I think the audience is enjoying it."
(cut to the audience members, who are relaxing in the lobby)
Edgar: "So what do you think of Lark's show?"
Sabin: "It's not half bad. Except for the guy playing the Baker."
Cyan: "He truly cannot sing."
Locke: "I want to know what was with that light falling from the ceiling! Was that part of the show?"
Edgar: *shrugs* "I haven't a clue."
(the lights flicker)
Cyan: "Looks as though it is starting again. Better get back to our seats."
(meanwhile...back to the cast...)
Lark: *choking cloud* "Don't you dare try to ruin my show again!"
Cloud: "Can't.....breathe...."
Sephiroth: "Choke him good!"
Michelle: *breaking them apart* "Leave Cloud alone, Lark. He's a little bitter."
Jackie: "Come on, it's time for the second act!"
(the second act starts off well.... but after sephiroth and vincent finish their second song they come off stage)
Sephiroth: "Know what I just realized! I'm a huge player! I'm married to Cinderella, but I'm going after Sleeping Beauty and I make out with the Baker's Wife!"
Vincent: "......your point being?"
Sephiroth: "I'm a jerk!"
Rufus: "Hey! He finally admitted it!"
Sephiroth: "Why you little--" *chases rufus*
(later...during her song, jackie's mike keeps going in and out and she's getting very upset.)
Seifer: *from the back* "Ha ha! Witch!"
(jackie holds back tears for the rest of the scene but as soon as she gets off stage she starts sobbing)
Jackie: "Seifer messed me up on purpose!"
Zell: *punching air* "Want me to kill him? I'll kill him!"
Jackie: "He's a big jerk!" *still crying*
(later....at the part in the show where jack is told his "Father" is dead....)
Squall: "Where's my father?"
Reno: "He's......dead, Jack."
Squall: *grins* "Great!"
(silence)
Michelle: "Um....don't you want to get revenge on the Giant for it?"
Squall: *shrugs* "Whatever."
(right after...back stage)
Laguna: "Squall! You weren't supposed to be happy I died!"
Squall: "....But I was."
(later....during the part where sephiroth supposed to make out with michelle....he's standing there, arms crossed, not looking too thrilled)
Sephiroth: *sings* "Anything can happen in the woods. May I kiss you? Any moment we could be crushed. Don't feel rushed." *kisses her on the cheek*
Michelle: "Grrrrr......"
(every time he is supposed to kiss her he kisses her on the cheek and michelle is getting royally pissed. after her song and after her character dies, she confronts sephiroth back stage)
Michelle: "Sephiroth! You said you would do it right for the show!"
Sephiroth: "I felt bad cheating on Lark!"
Michelle: "It's just a play! You weren't *really* cheating on her!"
Sephiroth: *crosses arms* "I just couldn't do it."
Michelle: "Grrrr........"
(jackie's mike goes in and out during her big song, and she starts crying again, but other than that the rest of the show goes well, and we get a standing ovation for the bows. after the bows the crews come to the back)
Seifer: "Ha ha, Jackie! Revenge for you being a bitch!"
Jackie: *crying* "You're so mean, Seifer! I hate you!"
Seifer: *shocked* "You're....crying?"
Jackie: "You ruined my songs!"
Seifer: "I.... I didn't mean to upset you... Just to make you mad..."
Jackie: "I hope you're happy!"
Seifer: "I'm sorry, Jackie! I really am! I'll do anything to make up for it!"
Jackie: *sniff* "You'll take me on a shopping spree?"
Seifer: *sweat drops* "Hey, I'm no SeeD! I don't get paid every five minutes!"
Jackie: *bursts into tears again*
Seifer: "All right, all right! I'll take you shopping!"
TJ: "So, Lark, I think the show went really well."
Lark: "Yeah. It had it's share of weird moments, but all in all it was pretty normal. At least for us."
Irvine: "Hey, Lark!"
Lark: *sigh* "What now, Irvine?"
Irvine: "That outfit looks great on you. It would look even better rolled up in a ball on my bedroom floor."
Lark: "Irvine, where are you getting these lame pick up lines?!"
Irvine: *points to tj who whistles innocently* "Why, they're not working?"
Lark: "......I didn't say that. Let's go."
(they leave)
Sephiroth: "Hey, where did Lark go?"
Michelle: "She left with Irvine." *grins* "Looks like she's cheating on you, Sephiroth!" *laughs*
Sephiroth: "That's not funny!"
THE END
Ugh.
I hope you guys liked this ramble, cause I *hated* it! Sorry you had to
wait so long for such crap!